dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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