I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
