out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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