Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
