and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
