And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
