I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize