you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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