I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
