if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
babies were throwing up all over the place
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
