i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
