Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
nutella sex= disaster
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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