I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize