i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
