he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my poor anus
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
did i just pee glitter
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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