If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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