You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
