Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I FOUND THE LEGS
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
