Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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