you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
