why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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