Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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