hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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