i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
