I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
