Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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