Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
