Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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