Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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