lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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