that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Less talking, more tequila
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
