That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
