I think my vagina is haunted
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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