By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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