i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
