White coat. Heels.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
