we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He? As in you personified your dick?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
