Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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