so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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