He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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