I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
