Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dont even know how to be here
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize