KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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