Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
