So drunk its hurt
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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