Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize