My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
