Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You smell like stripper and shame
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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