just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am available for nakedness
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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