Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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