You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
