okay pat passed out under dana's car
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
