At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
