Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I AM VODKA MAN
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
