He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Houston, we have a blender
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
