So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
