Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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