You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize