I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
