I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
