The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I need a burrito and a hug.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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