Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
