shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
