Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
