I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
