I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
