I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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