the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
