I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I need moral support for this bender
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
