there's paper in my vomit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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